"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."

A statement that easily applies to today's society. You know who said that? Mark fucking Twain. A guy that was living back two centuries ago way before the era of 24-hour news networks and a massive government.

I decided to go on a news diet about a couple of weeks ago to calm my rage and frustration with the world. No news except local news every few days. And it was bliss. It was ignorant bliss. No bullshit about healthcare, no bullshit about Jon and Kate, no bullshit about H1N1, no bullshit about MJ, no bullshit about anything. It was like a dream come true.

Lately I've been coming off of the diet. It's not been too bad, since I know what stories to avoid and I never ever watch the news, not even The Daily Show. But today, I get shown a link by a conservative-leaning friend to some politician (big red warning side right there) speaking about healthcare that's sure to go the rounds on all the echo chambers.




He sounds so frank and enlightened. Except for the part where he's completely full of shit and he knows it.

I'm reminded of the Penn & Teller: BS episode about numbers and stats. But this time with the tried-n-true method of omitted information. A mostly unbiased article with more information presented. Notice the politician only mentioned UK and Canada? What about Cuba, Japan, and France and their evil nationalized healthcare schemes? They beat the US in certain cancer rates. And he also didn't mention the actual rates. The overall average between US and Canada was 3.5 percentage points, 59% vs 55.5%. Here's an article using the exact same study to spin the numbers in the other direction: "Canada has some of the best cancer survival rates in the world."

Fuck you, Frank


This rant isn't about healthcare. I could go on about how fucking retarded it is that the criticisms never ever offer any solutions. I could bitch about, in the end, nothing's gonna get passed, not a system, not a plan, not even a fucking regulation. Nothing will change, even though everyone says that something needs to change, because morons are too busy yelling, spouting bullshit, and blaming one another to actually sit down like fucking rational human beings and hammer out a solution to what everyone says is a problem.

No, instead, this is a rant about politics, and I hate politics so goddamned, muthafucking, cocksucking much.

It's all lies, half-truths, and bullshit, with appeals to emotion ("Freeloaders!!! AHHH" "Not helping the poor?? NOOOOO!!!"). And they all fucking know what they're doing. This asshole didn't look at this study and erroneously conclude that America's cancer treatment rocks in every way imaginable. He knows that we're losing to several countries in key areas. He knows that we spend a lot more than anyone else. He knows that we have too many uninsured and that things are too expensive. He willfully omitted numbers and presented info in a misleading manner to get his point across and get support.

For what? I could be ultra-cynical and think he's in the pocket of insurance companies. Or I could give him a fair shake and say that maybe he, like many conservatives, just doesn't want working Americans footing the bill for people that aren't contributing to society. Really, who knows what he wants. And that's the problem. No one can just say exactly how they feel and why they feel that way. I don't know if it's corruption or political correction, but either way I'm sick of it. And I'm damned sure sick of the lies to garner support for hidden agendas.

And all politicians do this; no exceptions. None.

But yet, this fucking guy, like many other politicians (ALL politicians, mind you) got plenty of people (people that should know better) supporting him through his bullshit without actually researching what he's saying and asking why.

I'm going back on my diet.

All this news about overly rowdy protesters at these townhall meetings on healthcare reform point to one glaring fact:

Democrats are fucking pussies.

For several decades now, the Republican M.O. has been to get conservative (and many times stupid) people to agree with them on issues that, in a sane world, they'd disagree with or just not give a shit about. I mean, really, getting the Christian Right (again, an oxymoron) to be against action on global warming? Absolutely genius. Republicans do this by appealing to people's fears and hatred. Terrorists, liberals, communism, etc. All hated ideals based purely on appeal to the emotions of blind fear and hate rather than logic.

And it's business as usual with the government healthcare option. Lots of dumbass commonfolk stirring up trouble yelling about socialism and taking away freedom and other completely unprovable drivel that only their stupid stupid stupid stupid minds could come up with as well the GOP reps that organized the meeting.

So how do pussy Democrats combat this? By being pussies. Instead of fighting fire with fire and realizing that this country is chock full of dumb panicky morons, they continue to appeal to reason. The more I see Obama speak about his plan, the more I start to dislike him. He and the Democrats can bitch and moan all they want about "scare tactics", "fearmongering," "lies", and whatever else pussy-ass excuse they can come up with. The fact is that it's working and it's been working every since the Republicans made the word "liberal" into a bad word in this country. What the fuck is the point of taking the high road when you're getting your ass kicked? Honor? LOL

We're talking about healthcare here. Not global warming. Not foreign aid. This isn't some issue that you'd have a hard time scaring people into giving a shit about. This is a fucking issue where thousands if not millions of people have some horror story about dealing with healthcare.

• Ambulance rides costing tens of thousands of dollars.
• Insurance companies denying coverage because someone forgot to mention they had the flu 20 years ago
• Someone's mother dying because coverage was dropped because the treatment wasn't approved
• Self-employed people using the majority of their revenue to cover premiums
• Bankruptcies

The examples and anecdotes could go on and on. Scary shit. Unbelievably scary shit. I am personally scared to death that some accident or disease might happen, and I'll have to lose all my savings and go into debt to pay for medical costs, despite having good insurance. Democrats could easily get people, even local people, to tell these tangibly provable horror stories about how shitty the current healthcare system is (as opposed to the laughably retarded horror stories about how Obama is a communist that wants a healthcare system that will kill grandparents). Democrats could use the same scare tactics and appeals to emotions as the GOP, planting people in these townhalls, but they'd be even more effective since the possibility of a horrible insurance experience is very real for any and every American. But what they do instead?

"Our plan will insure the 50 million uninsured, and you won't have to drop your coverage, and there won't be any 'death panels', and don't believe the scare tactics, and blah blah"

Translation:

"We. Are. Pussies."

In short, fuck Democrats. Have fun being in second place forever, pussies.

I see many movie reviewers use this phrase. It has got to be one of the most overused, out-of-touch, stupid cliches of modern usage.

• Over-use - Just do a search for movie reviews and this phrase. I'd wager every dumb (and even not-so-dumb) action movie has been described as this. The originality is hurting me.
• Out-of-touch - I'd love to know how many of these reviewers that use this phrase have actually played a video game since Pac-Man. A good 90% of these assholes seem like the only things they know about modern video games are Grand Theft Auto (because of the Hot Coffee thing) and possibly Wii.
• Stupid - First off, no movie I've ever seen is like watching a video game. The closest movie to this is Crank, and even that's like watching an over-the-top action movie. No,I'm fairly certain the only thing like watching a video game is watching a video game. Secondly, how is watching a video game a bad thing? Watching sports certainly doesn't seem to be demonized, even though it's something that you could play rather than watch. Lastly, what type of fucking vague ass statement is that? A video game? Like Pong? GTA? Bioshock? Madden? Do you know how fucking meaningless it would be if I described as "like listening to music."

Whenever I see a movie review using this phrase, I stop reading. This phrase says nothing other than the reviewer is some out-of-touch hack that frowns on video games. The person doesn't actually play, let alone watch video games. It's just something that they don't like.

Instead, I turn on my Assumption Gadget. And it tells me that the reviewer is an old crotchety relic from the 80s who, more than likely, hates most everything about modern culture but loves the inane bullshit from his/her era and, as such, his/her tastes mean as much to me as a pile of goat feces. It's just another old fart that wears his unhipness as a badge of honor. Like most aging unhip people, instead of actually picking out what's good and what's bad in modern culture, they overlook everything en masse while trying to convey this air of refined enlightenment. However, the reality is that they're just fucking ignorant and sad. It's that same unhipness that causes people to wear Thundercats shirts, continue listening to hair metal, say that early 80s rap was good, and talk about everything used to be so good. All the while both ignoring legitimately awesome new mainstays of culture as well as looking at the hilariously bad shitstains of pop culture of their wonder years through rose-colored beer goggles.

In short, fuck old people.

I just had an epiphany. One that took a group of musically crippled friends, one meaningless acronym, a mathematics background culminating in a minor degree, a gradually made observation about the world, a random Google search and a span of fifteen years to reveal itself. Even my usage of the word "transcendence" to describe the transcendence is transcendental.

It's purely personal, and it's almost trivial. But it means oh-so-much to me, considering the transcendental coincidence, the transcendental timespan, and transcendental importance of the curve based on a transcendental number.

The exponential curve.

I hate sleep. I hate it. It is, literally, a waste of time. I'd gladly give all of my life-savings away to forgo the human curse of sleep.

I guess I could also use this blog to vent on politics. Laying out my thoughts might help keep me from engaging in fruitless debates with morons as well avoid the echo chambers of the Web.

So, my first political bitchfest is about people complaining about the government getting involved in healthcare. Now, the Republicans are complete masters at getting most of their constituents supporting matters that, realistically, most of their constituents should really be against. And this is yet another masterstroke for them. Despite the comically high costs, despite all the studies showing US health is below so many other nations, despite all evidence pretty much summarizing the US healthcare system as a shit taco, plenty of Republican-registered regular joes think that the system we have is fine. Or they'll bitch about the system, but then when a model suggested, one that's been used in many countries with better health stats than us, a fucking riot erupts. "Socialism!!" Yes, that's right. It IS socialism. So is the fire department and the road system, but I don't see idiots storming legislatures demanding an end to such communist institutes. I mean, fuck, technically the fucking health insurance we have now is fucking socialism, it's just that it's highly regimented and you optionally pay the taxes for it. I'm current part of the Blue Cross Blue Shield socialist paradigm, and the money I pay every month goes to paying for someone else's medical procedures. Someone I don't even know! Nooo, I'm a commie bastard!!

In particular, though, I keep seeing a couple of criticisms about government healthcare, two of the most obvious "I'm too fucking stupid to think for myself, so I'll believe what some scumbag politician/pundit tells me like a good little puppet" criticisms about this whole thing:

1. "OMG bureaucrats will be dealing with healthcare! Bureaucrats!!!'" Yeah, like the fucking behemoth monolith that is Blue Cross Blue Shield is full of edgy fast-moving grads from UC-Berkeley. Newsflash, fuckwits. When you have to call someone about your insurance details, who the hell do you think you're dealing with? Dr. Gregory House? No, odds are, it's going to be a fucking bureaucrat. Insurance is so bloated with loopholes and restrictions and fine print and whatnot. There's a word for that... oh I know, it's called bureaucracy. The dickwad private company bureaucrat you deal with is fine. But the government bureaucrat? Oh no, that's, like, the end of civilization.

2. "The government will ration healthcare!! My mother will die because she was passed up!!" Oh I know it's horrible. But you know what's even more horribler? When an insurance company denies coverage by finding some loophole (pre-existing condition) with the sole basis of making a profit and your mother dies. Or does that scenario give people the warm fuzzies? As far as I know, the government proposal isn't getting rid of private insurance. And I'm pretty fucking sure that in either case, be it govt insurance denying you because of somebody sicker needs it more or private insurance denying you because the CEO needs a new yacht, you can still pay the exorbitant fees out of pocket. It's a fucking push, you stupid sons of bitches.

Bottom line is this: healthcare should not nor should it have ever been a "for-profit" racket. Something like that that is obviously for the "greater good" of society, particularly something that involves people's lives should not be at the whim of some greedy asshole ready to pull the metaphorical trigger on somebody because paying for their medical bills would hurt profits and dismay shareholders. Imagine if the police force was setup like this. We'd have "security insurance" firms, where one has to pay dues (in a completely socialist scheme, again) to protect all the other enrollees. But, because it's a business, there'll be all kinds of crazy shit in the terms. For instance, if you've got a cousin that has a criminal record, sorry, you can't be covered. Your car was broken into? Sorry, only car thefts are covered, not car burglaries. You'll have to pay some expensive private detectives for that yourself. Madness.

I know being selfish, pursuing wealth, and "rah rah go capitalism!" is the American way, but, for once, I really wish people, particularly so-called Christians, would think about helping themselves and their fellow man out instead of knee-jerking into Republican-induced blind rage.

The word "fail" is the Internet's version of a laugh track.

This video is a bit relevant regarding all the news coverage.

Along the same lines of the earlier rant, but a lot more observational and transcendental.

In most faiths, there's the belief of life after death if one lived a good life. But not just life after death, but an overwhelmingly pleasant life after death, be it full of pleasure, peace, or privilege. So, why are funerals such somber affairs? True, that person won't be apart of your life, whatever way they were involved, be it your grandmother or a multi-platinum pop star. But shouldn't there be a lot, and I mean a lot more joy at this person, after living a few dozen years and suffering for a few of them, passing from this world into a new world where they'll infinitely happier? And it's gonna last more than a few dozen years, hundreds of years, thousands, millions, more than anything. It'll last forever (faith pending).

Someone you loved, liked, or admired gets to go to heaven forever? Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. So why cry?

So today at the arcade, some woman asks my brother, who just finished a round on ITG2, if he works at the arcade. My brother is a very big muscular imposing black man wearing a tank top and sweat pants. He politely told her to go the counter. I asked him about that and he said that he guess that it's because he's an older man playing a game in the arcade, so maybe that's the reason.

I still stick by my "fucking stupid" explanation. And I also still stick by my pledge that the next time someone asks me that while I'm on the game wearing gym clothes, I will get my shit and leave.

I said this years ago. Apologies if it comes off racist. The main telltale sign that you know if someone is a bona fide superstar is if they have teenage white girls crying at their concert. Elvis did. The Beatles did. Eminem did (much to his chagrin, but I'm sure he didn't mind after all the money and groupies). N'Sync. Jonas Bros. The list goes on and on. And, more pertinently, Michael Jackson did.

My question is... why?

There are a reasons why one would cry at a concert. A particularly moving piano/violin duet. Someone stepped on your foot extra hard. A multiple murder that happened in front of your very eyes. Those seem perfectly acceptable. What is not acceptable, on the hand, is when a pop star performs a pop song in front of you. And yet, this is a happenstance that crosses decades. I wouldn't be surprised if Mozart had crying teenage white girls at his recitals. Why in the fuck are you stupid stupid girls crying? Stop. You'll always be immortalized as that dumb girl that was crying at the mere sight of some pop star that you likely forgot about the following month after some scandal ruined his/her/their image.

But I note something else about the "crying over a celebrity" issue, and it is death. Now, MJ was my idol growing up as a kid. There'll likely never be another entertainer like him. That said, I didn't know him personally, so I wasn't choked up at all. Shocked and bummed, sure. But to the verge of tears? Fuck no. But many people were, and I, again, question why. You weren't waiting on him to come home or to write you a letter or see him at the next reunion. You didn't fucking know the man personally. He's worthy of your admiration, your honor, but not your infinite sadness.

I'd be sad if I could never hear "Billie Jean" again, sure. I'd bawl my fucking eyes out if that possibility ever occurred. But the man who performed it dying? Yeah, that's a damn shame. But not a crying shame.

In short, stop fucking crying.

Again. A-fucking-gain. I'm getting my phone and keys down off the top of the dancing game in the arcade, and some girls (who, by the way, DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING PLAY THE MUTHAFUCKING GAME) asked me if I was about to close the arcade. Again, a-fucking-gain, I'm wearing a fucking tank top and fucking gym shorts. I swear, I fucking swear, the next fucking person that asks me "do I work here" I will look at them, completely acknowledging their presence, and I will just walk out of the arcade, possibly while still looking at them.

Preface: These rants are not directly related to Michael Jackson or his death. MJ was an awesome entertainer. He was the best of my lifetime and very possibly beats Elvis for the greatest of all time. His music and his life were extraordinary and he'll be missed. Now on with the rants.
_______________________________

TMZ, the tabloid celeb news site, was the first source to break that MJ suffered cardiac arrest. The 24-hour sources soon caught wind, reporting the same news with the reference "according to TMZ." About an hour after their initial report, TMZ then reported that MJ had died, saying that a reputed source of theirs was there when the ambulance arrived at the hospital, and that MJ was not successfully revived. For quite some time, TMZ was the only source saying that MJ died; the others were still reporting, "Cardiac Arrest." Eventually, the L.A. Times confirmed that he died. Shortly after that, The Associated Press followed suit.

Now, the most noteworthy thing isn't that TMZ scooped everyone. Fair enough, it is very noteworthy and kudos for that cesspool for being good scummy paparazzi that reported breaking news about a celebrity. But it is not the most noteworthy. No, the most noteworthy is that CNN, "the most trusted name in news" took an entire hour to officially confirm the news of MJ's death. One hour after the L.A. Times and AP. TWO hours after TMZ. Before their own confirmation, they reported, "Reports: MJ Dead." It took an entire hour for CNN to change that to "MJ Dead."

Exactly why does anyone give CNN or any shitty 24-hour news network any attention with that type of piss-poor investigative reporting? One of the most famous people EVER unexpectedly dies, and it takes TWO HOURS to confirm yourselves? I was already getting very tired of CNN, with their badly written articles, overt stupid-catering, and lack of content. But the MJ reporting was pretty much the last straw. No more CNN.com, and I don't have cable anyway, so I couldn't watch the channel even if I wanted to.

In closing, CNN can suck a dick.

....I think I'll start being an asshole a little more now

Playing some ITG2 at the arcade, I had not one but two people ask me do I work in the arcade. I don't know what fucking arcades there are in this country where the dress code consists of a tank top and shorts, but I guess I'll have to look for them. But really, seriously, no. No. NO. A THOUSAND FUCKING TIMES NO. A fucking black dude with dreads wearing fucking gym clothes playing a fucking video game in a fucking arcade filled with fucking video games that are fucking meant to be fucking played does not fucking work in the fucking arcade, and you have to be one of the dumbest fucking people imaginable to fucking think that he fucking does. Fuck.

Fanboys are bad. Fanboys that don't think they're fanboys while they spout their fanboy garbage are worse.

Life is but a complex maze
Brimming with twists, turns, and bends.
Yet despite all possible ways
It is a maze without an end.

No wait, there is a finish line,
But one does not get there by will.
You're put there when you're out of time
With a time limit not set still.

So the key is the path you take
Avoid dead ends, keep steady pace
Correct the wrong turns you might make
The key is the route, not the race

You don't know how much time you get
Before you get thrust to the goal
You don't know the path you may set
So keep on and enjoy the stroll.

It is such a beautiful day out today
Such a shame a beautiful day bothers me
Because such a beautiful day started my change...

I long for the beautiful day where I will
Focus on the beautiful day in the now
Instead of the beautiful day in the past.

Disclaimer: I really like Pixar. I really do. I think they blow Dreamworks out of the water. Just getting that out of the way...

So Up is about to be released, the latest in Pixar's long line of very popular, very well-received movies. Over at Rotten Tomatoes, it's still at an astronomically high rating of 98% as of right now, with the summary calling it "another masterful work of art." I'm sure, like all of their movies, I'll enjoy it. And, I'm sure, like almost all of their movies, I'll forget everything about it in a month. Maybe Up will be different, but the same over-praise was hefted upon Wall-E as well, and while that movie was, like all Pixar movies, very good and worthy of a good review, that movie, like all Pixar movies, is not a classic nor a work of art.

Pixar makes very well-made family movies. That's it. They aren't pushing any boundaries in any way other than technological. The Pixar hype now reminds of the 90s, when seemingly every Disney movie that came out was just the bestest movie ever. Yeah, they were good. But, to be honest, almost all animated movies are throwaway. There's nothing challenging or deeply affecting about their stories. There's nothing overly witty or scathing about the celebrity voice actors. Nothing mind-binding about the story. There's nothing heart-racing or jaw-dropping about the action pieces. This applies to both those 90s Disney movies as well as today's Pixar movies, with the exception being The Incredibles, which indeed have some memorably awesome action sequences. Hell, I'd say the first Shrek qualifies as more memorable, despite it being largely throwaway (I mean, it actually used the song "All Star" in the movie).

The best family-oriented animated movie from the past decade was not anything Pixar has done. It was the cult-classic Warner Bros movie The Iron Giant. NOTHING that Pixar has done comes close to the quality of that. I'd even argue that, because that movie was largely (and beautifully) hand-drawn with cel-shaded 3D animation blended it, the technological quality between The Iron Giant and Pixar's best is basically a push. But what makes The Iron Giant so great? Well, besides the setting, the humor (not overly wink-wink oh-so-clever), the acting, the characters, the thing that makes it great is the same thing that makes Bambi better than almost anything done in the past 20 years.

Emotion.

Whether it's sadness, anger, elation, fear, or whatever, some of the best movies tests the audience's emotions. A few of those 90s Disney movies played with anger, as the villains in them were usually quite bastards. Nothing in Pixar's movies tests my emotions. It's usually just clever humor, really neat effects, and a pleasant ending. Nothing that makes me very happy. Finding Nemo and Wall-E came the closest, but still not enough for me to really say they had an effect on me. Pixar makes good, really good movies, but without that emotional resonance, they've yet to make a great movie.

Maybe Up changes that "losing" streak. But I doubt it.

I propose that, as soon as someone is born, they get sterilized. Boys made sterile, girls get tubes. Later on in life, they have to take a test to prove that they are mentally, socially, and financially fit to have children, then they become unsterilized.

I think this will solve every single problem in the world. Well, maybe not all. Or even most. But the fewer stupid people having kids, the merrier.